then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
