Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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