Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
