The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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