i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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