I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I faked an abortion last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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