There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize