We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
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