I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
