Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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