Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
