As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
