So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
