I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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