He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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