Your mouth is God's brothel.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
