He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
