my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I need to align my fucking chakras
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
