im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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