I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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