ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
