I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
we should paint friendship bongs
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