This girl is more easily done than said...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
