Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
