we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
