So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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