It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
