Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
