I think I am morally bankrupt
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
