So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
