I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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