Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
