and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
