i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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