yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
