Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize