So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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