I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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