I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
