normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
he had hair everywhere except his balls
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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