remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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