I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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