please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
