Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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