I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
