i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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