she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
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