I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
ttyl tear gas
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You need Xanax blowdarts
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
