I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
