Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
please come you make the beer taste better
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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