I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
