He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
