Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
two words: eviction party
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
