this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
