So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
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