had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize