We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
